Controlling Our Anger

Thank you for someone who’s letting me use their pictures as my background

Have you ever feel you’re angry with society but you can’t help but crying? Have you ever feel no one understand what exactly did you mean to them? Have you ever feel no one who did appreciate you?” Yes, I have, often.

Anger is a feeling that makes you feeling lonely, sad, and stupid at the same time. Anger could blind your eyes, could drives you into a mess mind, and could makes everyone misunderstood with your action at the time. I think with this Technology era people has no idea how to appreciate the others when they’re talking to them in a forum (e.g., Meeting/Discussion) I think with this various Social Media, people going insane because they’re always being a selfish person (even me too, but I must admitted it was true) I think with this modern the way of thinking people never really understand the others’s situation nor their condition. Why I could say like that? Please, take 5 minutes for thinking this: “What things I’ve done to the others today?” “Am I not making any faults to the others today” “Are they really appreciate me when I’m talking to them?” “Are they really accept me for the who I am” and so on. It’s ironic how people started do backstabbing towards you while you were not around. It’s ironic how people being kind to you but they also put their knife exact to your heart. It’s ironic how you have been considering several people your true friends but they are not. It’s ironic how we fight for the others’s sake but when it comes to you they had done nothing. It is ironic, isn’t it?

People have been disappointing us for many times, but when they disappointing us two times we must stand with our own feet three times, wise people said. I thought being disappointed by people was the best path to use our logical mind so that we could avoid ‘negative people’ in our own life. Sometimes with the pain or the disappointment will lead us to be wiser when we’re about to make friends. But sometimes that pain or disappointment also make us crying a river (aha, the way too exaggerated but true indeed), it also make you feel angry, too. How to control the anger or the sadness when it suddenly comes to your mood while you’re thinking of “What things you have done to them until they have the heart to did a cruel thing to you?”. Again, it was ironically feeling of mine when I’m writing this. I found very good phrase in book I lent from my friend, Deasy.

“Many of us have experienced being angry with someone and then having to pretend everything’s great in public. We put on our β€œeverything’s great” smiles, and amazingly after a few hours, it often is.”


Well explained, wasn’t it?

So.. I want to ask a proper question to you: “How to control your feeling when you are angry with people?” If this question were given to me, I would have had said crying. But sometimes crying won’t help. Although I knew, crying at least make you feel somehow relieved but trust me, there’s a scar where you didn’t know where is it but it still there in the bottom of your heart. I’m questioning myself too, “How come an anger feeling could ruins someone’s day?” surprisingly I knew the answer: the answer is because anger (based on this link, I copied the text) maybe accompanied by muscle tension, headaches or an increased heart rate. In addition, the verbal and physical expressions of anger may serve as a warning to others about our displeasure. The verbal expressions include yelling, arguing, cursing and sarcasm. When you’re yelling and arguing nor cursing, don’t you think it could increase your mood emotionally to the sadness or the anger itself? And everything you are going to do at the day will messed up. I do agree about this.

It’s sad when you can’t help but crying and pretend everything is fine to people… Aren’t you tired of your fake smile? Aren’t you tired of your acting there’s nothing happens but the truth is everything does happens? Aren’t you tired to understanding people while they are not? Aren’t you tired of accepting people’s flaws yet they did not accept your flaws at all? And many question I would like to ask to you.


So… Tell me briefly, how to controlling our anger? I’m so tired.


14 thoughts on “Controlling Our Anger

  1. I control my anger by detaching with love. This means respecting a person’s decision to live life as they see fit and allowing them the dignity to make their own choices. For example, my adult children often make decisions I don’t agree with. I can voice my opinion once, but after that, the next right action is to drop it out of respect. I have to ignore the urge to try and talk them into seeing things my way, which strains the relationship. Even though my children rarely agree with my opinion, they never doubt my love for them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. True indeed. Sometimes I controlled my anger with love too, but also sometimes it’s hard. Such a good example, sist. I really like that & often on the same position with your children. I often arguing with my Mom about my perception about everything, but instead she was angry with me she decided to explain and give me a view based on her experience. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

      1. It’s hard as mothers. We want to prevent you from experiencing the pain we suffered because we love you. We forget that pain is where we grew. Mothers do the best we can with the information we have at the time. However, I was able to grow and learn new ways of thinking from a support group, Al-Anon. I will always be a work in progress but I am 90% better than I used to beπŸ˜€.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you Melati for this wonderful article. In my opinion the pleasure one gets by restraining one’s anger and one’s tongue (the two are linked), is far greater than the pleasure one gets by releasing one’s anger and tongue.

    From hadith, when angry, sit down. If sitting, lie down. Have you tried arguing when lying down? It’s funny. πŸ™‚

    Say aoozubillahi minash shaytan nirajeem (always works as shaytan stokes anger), and make wudu, leave the place of anger, go for a walk, do something different, shower, cook, read, phone someone.

    And ask Allah for help in controlling your anger. He will respond.

    Good luck πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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